Although my psychiatrist says I still have bipolar disorder, I don’t feel like I do. The moods are quite different.

As a result of what happened to me, I was diagnosed with features of borderline personality disorder (BPD). Symptoms and ability to cope are much different. (I should mention though. I believe BPD was a misdiagnosis. Judging by the cause and by the symptoms, I believe the problem is more likely post traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD).)

Today my problems are emotional, not treatable with medication. I have intense and frequent depressions that descend suddenly every two or three days. Bad memories and hopeless feelings about how I’ve become a different person cause me to become suicidal. At this writing I’ve had to go to  emergency three times over the last three months.

There are many facets of what I’ve been going through over the past three or four years, among them: disorganization – which affects many things, isolating myself, not able to stay alone for long periods. Our lives – mine my husband’s – have been severely affected.

But you know: I do see signs that things are improving for me. I’m starting to have hope for the future, thanks to the help of a good therapist who I see weekly. And I do believe that this blogging – this telling my story – is doing me a lot of good. I’m reclaiming my life.

Thanks be to God!