(October 7, 2008)

I feel a bit like a nun – have felt like that for quite awhile now – tied to the work I do, paying little attention to the world around me. I never watch TV. Don’t keep track of the news – not via radio, TV, or newspaper. There’s an election coming up and I don’t have a clue who to vote for. After 36 years as a serious photographer, I’ve cut photography out of my life. So glad about that, even if it had always given me such joy.

My friends and my church are very important to me though. They’re my support system and I stay in close touch with them. Unfortunately, my contact with blogging buddies is slipping. I feel bad about that.

There are so very many things at me and I think that letting so many things slip away is my way of coping. Because I am coping. Though I have many things going on, I don’t feel stressed. I’ve learned to deal with one little thing at a time, shutting everything else out…things like cleaning up the kitchen, planning meals, paying bills…opening mail, for that matter :) I’m finding it’s becoming more and more important to write down every little thing I need to do. If I didn’t I’m sure I would forget important commitments.

Now I’m up against something else: My mom is in poor shape. She is terribly confused and sleeping most of the time. I’m so happy that I was able to arrange for health support workers to come in and check on her morning and evening. Even then, I had a call this morning that she had – in her confusion – taken all today’s pills yesterday. Was that why she was too weak to even have a shower this morning? I’m sure someone will now administer her medications.

What really makes me sad is that Mom is starting to live in the past. My sister visited today and Mom said how much she misses the family. She asked for my dad who died years ago. She’s so dreadfully confused. Feeling alone. I want to love her like a mother loves her young child.

Yet Living Room is coming up this Friday and I’m looking forward to it. We will talk about relationship with God, drawing from Philippians 2:1-8 for inspiration. If it weren’t for Living Room and what it means to me, would I be coping as well as I am?