(April 1, 2007)

I’ve been feeling very subdued – spiritual – looking for something good, something creative to bring forth from the unbalanced times I’m going through. I want to learn from what I’m experiencing, something of value that I can share with others. This is all I feel up to right now. I don’t feel I can or want to rush around and be busy as I normally am. I am afraid that when I get busy I won’t be able to handle it. So I putter, reading and writing.

I was looking through a wonderful book by David B. Biebel and Harold Koenig: New Light on Depression. In it the authors describe the best kind of ally a person with depression could have. This person would say in words and action:

“I love you, and there’s nothing you could do or say that would change that. I am with you now, and I’ll be with you as long as you need me. I believe in you. I know that your depression has placed a great chasm between the person you really are and the person you feel you are. But I will try to help you bridge that gap with love–mine and God’s–for he loves you and believes in you too. We three are in this together–you, me, and God. And when this is over, together we’ll find a way to use the pain to help others.”

I am so fortunate to have an ally like that, a godly woman, a loving woman. She will be away for a long time, but we are keeping in touch – somewhat. I thank God for her. When I am stronger I hope I will be able to offer this kind of love to others.

Koenig and Biebel go on to say: “Love–unconditional love–is the ultimate long-term antidote for depression, for at its core love is connected with faith and hope.”