(October 28, 2008)

King David wrote “When I felt secure, I said, ‘I will never be shaken’ …O Lord, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.” (Psalm 30:6-7)

He must have been bipolar, don’t you think? He knew exactly what it feels like to be doing really well and think your bipolar illness is totally under control, depression never to bother you again – and then to have it hit again. So unthinkable when things are good to believe it can happen again. But bipolar disease does not go away and we are bound to be affected again and again, no matter how good our medications and how balanced a lifestyle we lead. No matter how good our coping skills are.

My life has been like a roller coaster ride over the past few weeks. Not standing in a firm place at all. But it’s not terrible either. I surface and do well in between the days of depression. Yet it doesn’t take much to trigger the tears.

Nevertheless, I do sense God with me, even in the tears. Yesterday evening, wonder of wonders, after a bad day I was able to do a presentation, speaking very eagerly about Living Room to representatives from several churches. I wanted so much to have them learn about what they can do to support people with mood disorders. Nothing was going to hold me back. No one would have guessed I was in the middle of a depression.

Today has been a good day. Visited Mom (what a delight) and got a tiny start at packing up her things in the apartment. Tomorrow and Thursday I will be attending the 13th Annual Cross-Cultural Mental Health Symposium on Spirituality and Well Being at Simon Fraser University. I’m very excited about this. It should be a healthy way to get me out of the ruminating I’ve been doing.

Some of the topics:

  • The Vital Importance of Spirituality in Medicine
  • A Spirituality and End of Life Panel Discussion
  • Mindfulness, Meditation and Healing: Experiential Workshop
  • The God-Shaped Void: Spirituality and Addictions
  • Twelve Step Programs: Spiritual Awakening and the Path of Recovery
  • …and lots more.

I look forward to this opportunity to learn and be inspired.

“For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5