I have a friend who was very important to me, in many ways. This friend helped shape me into the person I’ve become, guiding me, mentoring me spiritually, giving me comfort when I needed it. I never had anyone I admired so greatly nor felt closer to.

How sad it was when changes happened to our relationship. I will always miss who this person once was for me. The pain doesn’t go away. And I wonder. Was it really all my fault that things fell apart so suddenly? I know I clung too much as a child might. But when I look back at the writings in this blog, I know this friend stayed pretty close to me as well, especially in the earlier years.

But I’m a hugely sensitive person – and in this case like a child. When I learned there would be no more time for coffees or lunches, the pain was excruciating and I landed in hospital. For years I wondered why. What did I do? What’s wrong with me? Why meet with other friends, but not with me?

I don’t think my love for this person who did so much for me will ever die. You never forget a person who had been so special to you.