BPD (borderline personality disorder) has its roots in our childhood. It may develop as a result of abuse. On the other hand, the child may have been treated well but had periods of abandonment. Time away from home, in hospital or elsewhere, can cause significant trauma for a young child. A child who is not raised in a stable secure home environment cannot grow into an emotionally healthy adult.

As adults, people with BPD may still have the insecurity they developed in childhood. They’re overly sensitive, easily hurt. And when they’re hurt, their reaction sometimes go over-the-top—anger that’s frightening to anyone witnessing it. They can’t help it. But they seldom pose a threat.

Don’t judge a person with BPD by their behaviour. They could well be a most caring and kind person on the inside. In my life with BPD, I never stopped helping individuals with mental health challenges. Yet sadly, I seem to have been feared—seen as bad or evil. Kept at a distance.

This stigma is where the greatest suffering of all comes from—greater than the effects of the disorder itself. It can lead to tragic results. 10% of people with BPD die by suicide. (not attempted, but succeeding)

Don’t fear your friend who lives with BPD. In the way hurt children needed compassion, so do we who are still affected by that childhood pain. We need the love of friends who will understand us.

marja