(June 27, 2008)

I went into Living Room today with a lot of prayer, trying to clear the clouds hanging over me. The prayers did help.

The meeting felt a bit stunted, though. I thought the topic for discussion that I brought was a good one. However, the eighteen sitting around the table were so unengaged with what I was saying. It was like pulling teeth trying to get people to talk. But I did eventually manage to pull a few into the discussion. Was it the large number of people? Last meeting we had only twelve and almost everyone took part. It was a lively time that we stopped only because it was time to go into our small groups. Today’s topic was a similar one, but not too well received.

I pulled the pastor in by asking him what Peter meant when he said, “But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do.” (1 Peter 1:15) I asked, “What does it mean to be holy?”

The pastor usually likes to just sit and listen, preferring the discussion to be ours alone. But it’s kind of fun to surprise him now and then with a question he’s not expecting. And we really appreciate hearing from him. His explanation for the word “holy” was that it meant to be set apart, devoted to God.

My friend and I are emailing each other. She’s explaining how she feels and I’m explaining how she misunderstood me. I would hate to lose this friend. She means a lot to me.

So where is my mood now? I feel the usual peace and contentedness I feel after a Living Room meeting. However, I also feel tears near the surface. Perhaps I haven’t had enough sleep lately. Perhaps it’s the result of worries about relationship with my friend. I don’t know.

I have a busy few days ahead. Wish I could have a whole day off to just putter at nothing much in particular. Catch up on my reading. Perhaps even draw or paint a bit. One day…