I firmly believe that Jesus shines his light on us through the people he brings into our lives. God needs us to be his representatives on earth. He made us to show each other who he is and what he’s like. He needs us to show his love, to support each other in lives that are often tough. If we’re going to serve him in the ways he made us to serve him we need such support.

I found Jesus’ life and light in a ministry I led for a long time. In spite of frequent depression, I did not miss many meetings. The Holy Spirit was there during the meetings and remained in my heart long after the meetings ended. Not only was the work a joy, a great part of it was the warm friendships I developed. Three individuals especially supported me in a big way. We spent time together, talked. I felt their love.

But over the years things changed drastically. Eventually one, though still a friend, would no longer meet me socially. Another stopped talking to me and would not even say hello. Another hurt me emotionally repeatedly, causing unbelievable pain.

Jesus did not leave me. But I met with him in my suffering, not in joy.

So what happened? What happened to these godly people? What was it about me that caused this kind of treatment? Had I really changed that much? And, if they needed boundaries, weren’t the ones they put up rather extreme? Why did they have to hurt me as badly as they did? Were they aware that even one such as me could feel great pain?

I became unwell and had to retire from the ministry I had loved so much. I deeply grieve losing it. I grieve losing the friends I had loved and who had been so important to me.

Today, after years of meeting with Jesus in suffering, I’m searching for the presence of his light in my life again. I want to leave the suffering behind. But I wonder where I could possibly find it? All I can think of is to serve God once more supporting those who badly need him – telling them about the Jesus of life and light. Is that possible for me?

Last night God brought a wonderful surprise to the sky. It took my breath away. His light is still there. At least it is in the sky.

Praise God!