In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

John 1: 4-5


I’ve been close to Jesus for a long time. He was the person I could always go to on those many occasions I was having a hard time. He joined me in my suffering and I joined him in his. It was a fellowship. The Bible calls it “the fellowship of Christ’s suffering.” (Philippians 3:10) Jesus was my comfort. Other times I imagined myself as a biblical character receiving his healing. Then I too would receive a degree of healing.

In true BPD fashion my mood plummeted again this morning and I quickly started  feeling hopeless. I went to Jesus again – he who I had become so familiar with – meeting him in my darkness in the way I most often do. I wrote to him in my journal, glad to have a friend like him, always there.

But something remarkable happened today. Someone alerted me to John 1: 4-5. In those verses I saw a Jesus I had completely forgotten about. My picture of who Jesus is became more complete. He’s a lot more than just a suffering presence.

Jesus has life. His light shines in the darkness! How could I have forgotten that? I don’t recall seeing – or noticing – these verses for a very long time.

Oh Lord, this  gives me hope. I want to know you all over again – the complete you. I need to have that life and that light! I need to know the other you.

I want to walk with Jesus and discover that kind of life again. In fact, now that I realize it’s available to me, I hunger for it. Could it possibly drive my darkness away? Could Jesus’ light bring healing to the illness I live with? Could opening my eyes to the light – to this other Jesus – make a difference?

I believe the life Jesus offers could return wholeness to our lives. Wouldn’t you – all of you who suffer – like to join with me and find out? With faith let us pray that God will help us overcome our darkness. With open hearts let us make this Jesus part of our life.

We want to fellowship with you, Lord, but this time in the light. May the light you give us travel far – to those many who have lived in darkness far to long. Help us find true life again.

Jesus. Our light and our hope.