(March 21, 2007)

Monday was a dark day, mostly spent in bed. But yesterday morning, though it started out dark, I was able to ignite a spark in that darkness. This small spark led to a good day.
I needed to go to Costco to buy some things and thought of a friend who has been busy and can’t drive, wondering if I could pick up something for her. This desire to do something for someone else, though only a tiny thing, made me feel a little more motivated – more energized. It took me out of the self-absorption that is so much a part of depression. It created a small spark in my darkness. This shopping trip would be more meaningful than if it were only for me. As it turned out, my friend wasn’t home and nothing came of it.

But on my way to Costco I thought of this spark. Its value had made a big impression on me. I could share how this spark helped me in the devotional at Living Room on Friday. In spite of my depression, I could talk about this with some enthusiasm. I WOULD be able to lead. I DO have something of value to offer. I thought of how I could spend the next week creating more sparks – more ways to do things for others, more ways to bring light into the darkness. Making the decision to develop a devotional around this topic created yet another spark, one that managed to light a candle.

My candle stayed lit the rest of the day and continues at this moment as I share its light with you.

I’m not able to do too much, finding myself lost in thought a lot, finding it hard to move. But I am at peace. I know how great God’s love is and will continue trying to share this love with others.

There is a great truth in these words from Isaiah 58:10:

“…if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.”