In my previous post I talked about the feelings of abandonment I occasionally felt: 

My worst moments are occasional feelings of abandonment. I usually experience these at night. I have a sense of doom, a chilly emptiness. There is nothing to hold on to. No hugs are tight enough to take away my sense of disconnectedness. I’m filled with a huge sense of insecurity. I cannot sleep. I don’t know where these feelings come from. Are they part of my bipolar disorder, or are they the result of multiple separations from family due to illness and hospital stays when I was young?

I have learned that, indeed, I do suffer emotionally because of poor upbringing and frequent abandonment. You can see it in my over-reliance on a good friend. I had never experienced the kind of love I received from her. And so I became too attached – as an insecure child might.

I do believe I’ve improved. Don’t think I’m as insecure as I once was. Maybe writing about overcoming insecurity has helped me. It’s amazing what writing can help a person learn. You’ll find this post at: