(November 21, 2007)

What’s been threatening for a while and what I kept trying to push away has come upon me. I have to admit that I’m into a bit of a depression. Not a bad one so far – and I pray that this will not become a bad one. I’m determined not to let that happen. Please, God, don’t let that happen.

I can see now that the anxiety I’ve been feeling so much in recent days is just part of depression. It’s part of negative thinking.

So…I must make some plans to help me cope with this. Perhaps I can lift myself out quickly, if lifting myself out is at all possible. I will have to remember to trust God and not think that I have to do it all by myself.

So…what can I do to stay out of the pit?

  • I’ll make an appointment with my psychiatrist and get started on some prozac. I’ve never had trouble with this pushing me into mania, so I trust it.
  • I’ll go to the gym or walk daily.
  • I’ll talk to my best friends daily, explaining to them why I need to do that right now.
  • I’ll give myself some manageable goals for each day.
  • I’ll keep puttering with pictures as much as I can.
  • I’ll write “Dear God” entries in my journal, telling God about what I’m going through and asking for his help.
  • I’ll write down whatever things help me most so that I can share them later with Living Room members.
  • I’ll try to bring brightness into my days by doing things that help other people.
  • I’ll read and meditate on the Psalms.
  • I’ll try to write Psalms, first expressing my pain, then praising God.
  • I’ll remember that God loves me and that my friends love me and I will thank God for that.

Please, God, I pray, help this not become too bad. Help me be well for Christmas.