(November 23, 2007)

There’s a story in the Bible about a man who has been crippled for a long time. Before Jesus heals him, he asks the man, “Do you want to get well?” Today I ask myself that question. I’ve so grasped onto this idea that I am now depressed that I’m not letting it go. I’ve so adjusted my thoughts to trying to do battle with this that I’m now focusing too much on it. I need to free myself from this and live as though it doesn’t exist – as though it has no right to exist.

A friend gave me a suggestion. She said, “My latest technique, brainswitching, works for me. Whenever I think I’m feeling low, I don’t use the word “depressed” and don’t worry about being depressed. Rather I come up with a childhood word, for me. I say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious from the film Mary Poppins. It makes me smile and doesn’t allow the brain kindling to happen.”

“Brain kindling” is indeed what seems to have happened within me. And “brainswitching” is indeed what I need to do. I should act as though I’m not depressed, think I’m not depressed, not talk about being depressed. Instead I’ll try to color my world by making pictures.

I will try to accept God’s healing touch and move forward.