I know I wasn’t going to write any more of my story. I claimed that I had recovered. However, traumatic memories don’t go away so easily.

Writing whenever I felt bad was helpful. But yesterday bad memories – especially one – came back, leaving me weeping in church. And I had nowhere to go with it. My story had been finished.

But I do want to share this: I have often related to Jesus, feeling that what he went through was similar in some aspects to what I suffered. I had a look at the devotional I sent out this morning. The line that really stood out for me was this:

“Crucified as evil, though He had loved and given so much.”

Although I wasn’t crucified in a physical sense, I was emotionally crucified. The suffering was intense. And what did I do to deserve it?

I had given my all for those living with illnesses like mine. With Christ’s love inside me I had given all I could give to those who needed help. Within the limits of my illness I gave everything I had. And I still do.

Yet I was treated as though I was evil.

And judging by today, I’ll never stop suffering.