(July 11, 2010)

Crazy how you can make a little thing into something so big that it threatens to take you down into depression. The feeling of rejection I talked about a few posts ago caused recurring pain. I think because I was focusing on it so much instead of forgetting it and moving on. I hung onto the source of the pain and it kept hurting. I studied the why and the wherefore, especially for those of us who live with mental illness. I tried to understand what to do with the pain so I could pass what I learned on to my group on Friday. I also talked about how to escape the pain, to avoid having it take us down into depression. And we talked about how we can live so that we avoid the feeling of rejection.

The pain kept coming back as I focused on the problem. Finally, a talk with my pastor resolved the issue for me. He told me some things which comforted me greatly. I shared his words with the group and I will share them here with you:

“Be who you are, who God made you to be, and know who you are in His eyes. You are a person of great value and worth to God…ultimately what matters most is not what I think, or even what you think or others, but what God thinks. His first and continual and last thoughts of us are overflowing with love and grace.”

What comfort those words gave me!! And this truth is what I passed on to the group at various intervals. Yes, we need to live our lives knowing who we are in God’s eyes and be strengthened in that knowledge. Then rejection won’t affect us so powerfully.

The photograph? I took it many years ago. It means a lot to me because I identify with the little girl. I bet many of us would.