(October 11, 2008)

Living Room was wonderful yesterday, yet I was worried about myself going into it. Wondered if I could lead the way I needed to. Life has been so very complex, especially with my mother sick. We found out she’d had a heart attack. She will be in hospital a little while and how she will cope when she gets out is uncertain.

Before Living Room I prayed hard. A good friend prayed with me. I solicited prayer from my pastor, and my co-facilitator and I prayed before the meeting. The complexities of my life have caused me to let a lot of little things go – some of them important little things. So I was worried about how I’d handle the devotional time. I feel somewhat disorganized. Yet I wouldn’t say I’m depressed. I’m not down….I don’t think.

God came through 100% yesterday. The meeting proved that God is real and that He’ll show up when you ask Him to – and that He’ll be there to strengthen you. Mostly leading Living Room is about sharing God’s love and I was – in spite of all – able to do that – fully eager to do that.

We ended our devotional time yesterday with this piece of Scripture from the Message:

God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us.

That’s so true!! All I had to do yesterday was to love people with the love God gave me to give. And the atmosphere was joyous. We were totally happy and “together.” And that’s the main thing. The devotional went off fine.

But today I’m having trouble getting myself moving. It will be an effort to put one foot ahead of the other, to do the laundry – perhaps go to Curves. Then this afternoon I need to go and see Mom. Yet it all seems like an awful lot of effort. Dear God, please let this not be the beginning of a down swing.