I’ve learned a lot since I wrote the previous post. Yes, I was emailing my pastor too much, though he had assured me it was OK. It would have been a good time for him to set limits when I had asked. When supporting a person with emotional needs, boundaries will be necessary if it looks like she’s starting lean too heavily on you. If this is done up front so the person understands why, she might not end up feeling hurt or rejected.

I wish my pastor had at some time taken me aside and said, “Marja, contacting me so much isn’t good for either of us. You’re going to be relying more on me than you should. And me? Although I care about you, I have many to take care of, and I need time and energy to do that. How about if you limit your calls/emails to once or twice a week?”

But I had no clear indication I was doing anything wrong. In the end I experienced great rejection and unimaginable pain when the pastor had too much of me.

In December 2017 I wrote about having boundaries with our supporters. You might find it a good addition to this topic:  http://marjabergen.com/archives/8-healthy-relationships-with-our-supporters In fact, you might find the entire series a good read: http://marjabergen.com/archives/category/relationships