I can’t live with myself until I’ve expressed remorse to all who might have been affected by the unfortunate piece I published on March 6. It was based on a sermon on 3 John that I had just heard. The following piece, NEVER ENDING TRAUMA, described how the memories that were triggered affected me. I totally broke.

But such a breakdown is no excuse. It should never have happened and I would not justify my actions on that basis. I realize I need to more carefully consider what I write and how my writings might affect others. I also need to hold off publishing things until my emotions are in better check.

Only God can help me carry out his work so that it can be trustworthy, so that they’re his words, not mine alone. By myself, I’m weak and short on wisdom. I need to lean on him for wellness.  I need to keep him close.

God has been with me through many trials. I believe he was with me even before I started calling myself a Christian. It’s through him that I was able to walk the rocky road of mental illness, able to work for him in spite of it.

I’ve had wonderful mornings with God, writing in the early hours. As I work, I find myself helped, at the same time helping others. I pray that he will be with me as I continue to serve him faithfully. Praise God!

marja