(September 25, 2006)

This has NOT been a good day. The only good thing is that it’s almost over and I can start again tomorrow, hopefully in a more positive vein.

Yesterday someone I’ve been giving support to hurt himself quite badly. It was a shock. I’ve never been so close to someone who has gone that far. I wondered if I could have done more for him than I did.

So this morning I woke up at 5:30 – way too early – feeling bummed out about everything. As I washed my face, I noticed that I had forgotten to take my evening meds last night. That was bad news. It was too late to do anything about it. I knew the day would be difficult. This was not a good time to be forgetting.

I’ve been eating junk food most of the day. No appetite or desire to make a proper meal. My husband says he suspects a depression coming on.

But maybe it’s all the bad news combined with missing my meds that are the problems. I must try to move out of this rut I’m finding myself in tonight.

Talking to a close friend tonight made me feel better. She’s a dear and truly cares about me. She mothers me at times and other times I mother her. I promised her that I’d try to do some baking tonight. It would be a nice surprise for my poor husband when he gets home tonight. I hadn’t even cooked him dinner, even though he had to go out and work for four hours tonight. My body and mind just went on strike.

But this is just one day. It doesn’t mean that this is the beginning of anything. I just need to push myself a little. Making some muffins or squares should do the trick. Sounds like I’m trying to convince myself, doesn’t it?