(December 9, 2007)

Today I feel a great need for a sabbath day. Although I’m doing much better mood-wise than I did last year, the pressures of the season have a way of grating on the nerves. Yesterday we went to a big family gathering and I came home feeling emotionally exhausted. I so look forward to the sermon today. I so long to once more reflect on what this season is all about. I long for a day of peace.

We still don’t have any decorations up at our house. I still haven’t sat down to figure out whether I know what I’m going to give to all the people I want to buy for. I still have to get the Christmas cards done.

But today I’m going to have a day all for me. Doing only what I feel like doing. Not doing anything that truly needs to be done. Tomorrow I will carry on with the must-do’s.

I don’t feel really depressed, yet there are indicators that suggest things are not the way they should be with me. There are too many messes around the house that bother me – small messes, yet messes I’m having trouble clearing away. I want to, but somehow I can’t bring myself to actually do it. Ever felt that way?

I long for Living Room this Friday. We’ll talk about how Christmas is affecting all of us this year. I know I won’t be the only person having trouble.

This morning, before I start my official sabbath day (though please don’t think I’m legalistic about this sabbath thing), I think I will make a list of all the things I’ll need to do in these two weeks before Christmas. I know that what will happen is that things won’t look nearly as overwhelming as they seem to be. …I will try to keep lots of time for me in the plans: time to withdraw from the busyness, time to read and draw and play.