(April 18, 2007)

You may think this a rather trite thing to say, but we can’t take for granted the gift each new day brings to us. It’s amazing how much difference a day can make in my mood. Each morning I wake up and wonder, ‘What will this day bring? Will this be the day that my mood will shift?’

I begin the morning hopefully, often starting my journal entry with: “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” I write this even when I don’t feel like rejoicing, hoping that writing those words will somehow help me feel joy, remembering the days when those words used to automatically come to my lips – days when I was hypomanic. I long for that enthusiasm and am sure this positive approach is helpful.

I’ve been trying to plan my days a little more, putting more things on my to-do list. Not too many, but enough so that I have some activities to look forward to – some chores and some fun things. That takes away some of the aimless feelings that create a sense of hopelessness. I come to look forward to the day.

Friends have been praying for me, knowing that I’ve been having a bit of a roller coaster struggle. I know it’s helping. Their prayers are encouraging me to trust God as I pass through this grey time, patiently awaiting the time when my enthusiasm will return. I myself am encouraged to pray. And with prayer comes a feeling of peace of hopefulness.