(November 21, 2009)

I’m getting along not too badly. Hard to stay active though. I prefer to sit and think. To meditate. Or would you call this ruminating?

Yesterday I emailed a friend telling her how I see things piling up around me that need to be done. And it makes me feel butterfly anxious, knowing I don’t have the motivation to do very much about it. I felt like I was enslaved, in chains, struggling to free myself. And when I wrote that, I realized that this was a big part of the problem. I’m trying to do free myself when I should be trusting that God can help me do that. It’s wrong to think I can do this on my own.

I turned to Psalm 18 which has encouraged me to lean on God in the past. My favourite version of the first two verses comes from the Message:

I love you, God-you make me strong. God is bedrock under my feet.

And I prayed:

Thank you, Lord. I know you are with me. I know you can free me from this depression. Please help me to let it go-to trust in your ability to loosen the chains.
I trust you and place myself in your hands.
Thank you for your love and thank you for making me strong.
I’m strong! Through you I’m strong.

Today I had a fine breakfast with a favourite friend. Now I’m getting the house into shape. And I’m writing to you, my blogger pals, and that is good. Tomorrow I’ll pick up a friend who has been in hospital for awhile to accompany her on a six hour pass. Church will be part of it. It will be a fine day.

Things are looking up. And I know God is with me, making me strong. He is bedrock beneath my feet.

(Originally I wrote this post without the photograph. But I added it because to me it suggests prayer – an intimacy with God.)