Marja Bergen

author, mental health activist, follower of Christ

Tag: shame (page 1 of 2)

Forever hated? living with borderline

Dear Lord, What happened to the person I was? Hated by someone I never imagined would hate. …and the pain that came, the deep deep pain. Today I sit with the one I love, sorry it’s all so hard on him, sorry I can’t be what I was. Will he too hate me now? It […]

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My deep shame: living with borderline

  I had thought I was a good person. I always tried to be. Like other Christians, I tried to follow Christ, with him as my example for living. But I’ve been looking back at my behaviour over the past few years and feel ashamed. More and more – I’m recognizing how easy it is […]

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Living with borderline: part 5 – betrayal

DIARY: Waking up, flooded with painful memories once more. Having given all she had, yet robbed. Robbed of all she invested, all that had made her feel worthy.   When something or someone is stolen from me while I’m rendered helpless because of mental ill health, the pain is excruciating. Being hurt in this way […]

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Victimized

  A victim. Blamed for the cruelty of another. Not believed. A victim, Abandoned by those who once cared. A victim. Remorse, her one need denied. A victim. A child without mother to hold her close. A victim. Wrapped in undeserved shame. Forevermore? marja  

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Dealing with guilt and shame

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.  Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. Psalm 51:1-2   This was King David’s prayer for forgiveness when the prophet Nathan drew his attention to his having committed adultery with Bathsheba […]

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Ashamed?

  …let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, […]

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Broken and crushed

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 Have you ever felt so bad, so ashamed about how you behaved, you find it hard to live with yourself? You couldn’t help what you did. It just happened, and you wish you could go back and undo […]

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Shame

This morning I awoke not wanting to get up, which is hugely unlike me. I was literally moaning with bad feelings – ashamed of having this illness that far too often make me act unnaturally. I’m not ashamed of the illness, but about what it makes me do at times. And I feel such pain […]

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Illness forgiven?

Will my illness be forgiven? Cause for shame no longer there? When will Christ’s life speak forth? “Love the sick, the sinners, the outcasts.” When will your message be heard, Lord? When will your love prevail? Come to us now.  

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When Jesus heals…

Lord, it occurred to me how, when you healed people – when you made them well and whole – you didn’t only heal them from illness, you helped them to be accepted by the people around them. They became whole on a social level as well. They were seen to be more “normal.” No longer […]

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