Marja Bergen

author, mental health activist, follower of Christ

Tag: memories (page 1 of 2)

Never-ending trauma

  You never completely lose the memories of trauma, they say. And I know that to be true. Triggers come at the most unexpected times, even during a sermon at church. There’s not anything particularly different about the sermon. But at times it does lead one’s mind to reliving experiences in your life – experiences […]

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Never-ending trauma

    You never completely lose the memories of trauma, they say. And I know that to be true. Triggers come at the most unexpected times, even during a sermon at church. There’s not anything particularly different about the sermon. But at times it does lead one’s mind to reliving experiences in your life – […]

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Crucified

  I know I wasn’t going to write any more of my story. I claimed that I had recovered. However, traumatic memories don’t go away so easily. Writing whenever I felt bad was helpful. But yesterday bad memories – especially one – came back, leaving me weeping in church. And I had nowhere to go […]

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Like an outcast (2019)

When I was excluded from the group I had needed so badly I felt like an outcast. Not long after, when I retired from Living Room, I was told I could no longer come back as a peer, I wrote in my journal: “Now I have no group at all. I’m an outsider.” Unwanted. Left […]

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Emotionally damaged (2019)

My life has changed in many ways. Disorganized and all the problems that brings. Frequent and sudden depressions accompanied by a wish to die. Haunted by bad memories. Often confused. Praying for more peace. I sometimes wonder. Is this old age, mental illness, or both? But I can see it’s more than these. It’s emotional […]

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Comment on wellness – 2019

How I would love to go back to those days of wellness and joy I described in the previous post! Today things are drastically different.  Not too long before I left the church in 2016 where I had experienced the great love and happiness I have described so far, I was diagnosed with features of […]

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I’m unbelievably well

LIVING ROOM MEMORIES  177  (July 4, 2008) It’s hard to believe how my mental health has improved over the years. Amazing how far I have come! The friends from my current church who have known me for four or five years think I’ve made great strides since they got to know me. But they didn’t […]

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The awe and wonder of it all

LIVING ROOM MEMORIES  120  (December 4, 2007) Last year’s Christmas was a stressful time for me. I truly suffered from all the negative aspects of the season: the huge number of fliers coming to the door irked me; the full parking lots at the mall overwhelmed me; the stores with the Christmas music and the […]

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Ugly me

  Dear God. I told my therapist last week how I’m feeling ugly. He told me I have to stop expecting everyone to be like Jesus. I suppose I have been, Lord. I haven’t accepted people in the way I’ve wanted them to accept and forgive people like me. The kindness I used to have […]

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Forgiven, yet…

the bad forgiven, though pain remains forgiven, yet healing doesn’t come memories linger how to end? Jesus?

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